Lincoln's 1st Birthday

Lincoln elbow deep in cake and icing.

Lincoln's FIRST birthday party was a couple weeks ago. I had a blast making the decorations and really focusing on him and the last 12 months.  He has changed so much (of course he has!).

I made his cupcakes and pennants that said Happy Birthday and Lincoln Oliver on them

It is insane to see him grow and change in these 13 pictures!  I adore this banner and it will probably hang up for the next year!

The party was a blast and we had a great turnout.  My mom and dad came, which is a big deal to me!  My dad brought my adorable little brother Matthew who is two and a half and a complete blast!!!  My brother drove about 4 hours with his girlfriend and their three boys.  The were all so good and we had a great time.  Lots of friends came and we enjoyed visiting with everyone. 

Lincoln did great.  I was absolutely worried that Lincoln might be overstimulated and unsure but instead he crawled right in and loved playing with all the kids and seeing our friends.  He enjoyed his cake and really wasn't very interested in the presents. 

Lincoln, I love you! Your dad loved you too!  We are so proud of you and so blessed to be your parents and watch you grow!  Happy Birthday Squishy!

3 Day Weekends

Lincoln and I have spent 2 three-day weekends together in the last month.  Neither were planned but oh, how I treasure this extra time with him.  One was due to Lincolns prolonged ear infection, virus and getting his third tooth and one due to a storm that caused alot of local flooding and power outages-at the babysitters, of course.

I have made a specific effort this year to be in the moment and loving my time with Lincoln.  Just 10 short days from his birthday and I so thankful that I have tried to soak up so many moments with him. 

While on my six week maternity leave I did nothing but dote on my little baby.  I didn't have meals prepared for David when he got home or have the house sparkling and clean.  I had a happy snuggly baby who I slept with, loved on, and became attached to obsessed with!

As Lincoln got older and still took evening naps, I would come home from work, have dinner with David and settle in on the couch, cuddling and snuggling with my boy I missed all day.

Now I don't get to hold you hardly enough.  You are busy and ready to get down and explore.  Sometimes I get to cuddle with you when I rock you to sleep at night, but most of the time you can't get comfortable and want to get into your crib.  Other times if you've fallen asleep in the car I can cuddle with you for a few moments until you wake up. In the mornings when you wake up, you are very clingy lately (not complaining- I love it) so I get good neck squeezing hugs first thing!

He doesn't use a pacifier anymore, but I need to work hard to help him transition to a sippy cup from the bottle.  He has really taken a liking to fish sticks and chicken nuggets lately and still likes pancakes, french toast, broccoli, green beans, peaches, pears... he is a great eater!

Today I am missing Lincoln and wondering if he misses me too. I treasure my 3 day weekends and extra time with him and miss him so much when they come to an end!  I wonder if his little heart wonders where I am. He is so fun these days; he is becoming independent, mobile, jabbers and laughs alot!  I love you my Lincoln and I love your hugs and kisses and seeing you hug and kiss your daddy too!  We love you so much!

Grateful ... Curious ... Overwhelmed

I have been planning Lincoln's First Birthday party for a while now for months!  I am so excited!  I have been working on some projects I was inspired to do after looking for party decor online.  We are going with a Blue and Green theme, no animated characters allowed.  I think we'll have years to pick out themed party decor, so in trying to keep it simple (hahaha, keep reading) I just bought colored plates and napkins.  I made a collage of pictures of Lincoln from his first year and I just love it!  I made a banner with a picture from every month of his little life so far.  It is 13 pictures long, starting with a picture from when he was just 3 days old and ending with a picture from Saturday.  I have made a banner to go on his high chair, for when he digs into a smash cake I'm making him.  We tested the process out for a photoshoot we had done and with David helping me decorate I LOVE how it turned out!  And the last banner I made says "Happy 1st Birthday Lincoln".  Each letter is on a circle or square and strung onto ribbon.  We also made a 2.5 or 3 foot tall 1 for the front door with a welcome sign. 

I am grateful (trying to be), overwhelmed and curious because everyone we invited to Lincoln's party has RSVP-ed.  Everyone!  I mean , its great that my son is loved and everyone wants to be a part of his day, but never did I think that my guest list would reach 40 of our family and friends!  All these guests will be squeezing into our townhouse.  The party is at 3:30 in the afternoon, planned that way so that hopefully we wouldn't have to really feed people, but I do like entertaining so I had some things planned.  However, I have reigned that in quite a bit.  We're having ham biscuits, pasta salad, carrots, cucumbers, and broccoli w/ ranch and chips and dip.  We'll also serve cupcakes and ice cream. 

I have no idea how Lincoln will react to so many people, but if I have to guess, he'll probably be shy and nervous for a few and then be just fine.  I have read some things about babies getting overstimulated in a big crowd, frightened by everyone singing to hm and even not liking the attention of everyone watching them open gifts.  But knowing Lincoln and how outgoing and friendly he is, after a few moments he'll be just fine.  Plus people should arrive in a trickle and not all at once, so that'll help too!  Hopefully the weather will be nice and our guest can be in the living room, kitchen and out on the back deck and in the yard.  I have no expectations and am just hoping that everyone squeezes in and has a good time!

11 Months

Lincoln, my love, my son, my squishy,

I love you dearly and deeply. 

You are walking assisted around everywhere, pulling up on everything.
You can climb the stairs faster than mom and dad.
You can very quickly side step around furniture, take all your books and our DVDs off the shelves.
You are very good at walking while pushing your cart.
You can roll your ball back and forth and push little cars back and forth.
You turn a bath into a jacuzzi with your crazy busy legs.
You wear size 3, almost 4, diapers and 12, almost 18 month, clothes.
You finally have TWO bottom TEETH!  They arrived right around your dad's birthday (Oct. 16).
There are no signs of anymore teeth coming anytime soon.
You are busy, wiggily, cannot sit still.... and we love it!
You hardly nap.  A good nap for you is an hour and a half, we're thrilled when you sleep for 2 hours.
You sleep from about 8:30 to 8:00a.m.
You give hugs, and say AW.
You give wide open mouthed kisses.
You laugh the hardest when you are startled.
You like ham, cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, pancakes, french toast.
You like cheese dip, like queso at restaurants!
You say YEAH and HUH when spoken too and it sounds like you know how to say DUCK.

We adore you, miss you when we're not with you and you drive us nuts when we're around you.  That is just how you'll come to feel about us in the years to come.  I hope always know we love you!

Peace.

It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.

~Anonymous

A Tooth! Two, Three!!

Lincoln, It's your dad's birthday and you managed to get him a present and not tell anyone!  You have two teeth coming in!  You are nearly 11 months old and finally teeth!  Good job Buddy!  Love You!

have I told you lately...

I have already had my Thursday night breakdown, I had it at lunchtime. Hopefully I am done.
I am done.

This week seems manic to me; really high high's, and very low lows. 

This week has been frusterating and hopeful, spirit-breaking and triumphant.

Lincoln is "crusing" everywhere.  This means he can walk around our coffee table and sofas and pull up to just about anything.  He has a little push cart that he can go back and forth across the living room with.  I don't help, just hold his shirt for a little stability and so I can catch him so that he doesn't land on the cart.  He is interested in everything.  I have been achingly missing him the last two days while I've been at work.

The is a possiblity there will be some financial relief coming for us in the next few weeks in the form of the Post 9/11 GI Bill.  We're unsure how it will work out but hoping it hits sooner, than later.

I rear-ended a parked car last week when I was leaving work.  Someone did it to me today when I was leaving the bank : (

David has finals this week for this term (5 week long terms) and is only taking one class, rather than 2 for the next 5 weeks, so he'll only be in class 2 nights per week.  I have no idea what I'll do with him home all the time, but I am looking forward to finding out.

Our oven door is broken, has been since Labor Day weekend.  We've been waiting on the landlords to let us know what they want us to do. Subsequently I have not baked any cookies, cakes, pies, breads or dinners in almost a month.  : (

"... you fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness,
easy my troubles,  that's what you do.
Have I told you lately that I love you?"

No matter the unknown and the crap, Lincoln has given me a priceless gift to focus on the triumphs and the hope.  To try to see the best when people aren't being nice or treating me the way I think they should, I am reminded to hope they had good intentions.  To think that maybe, just maybe people aren't out to be rude, hurtful and unthinking.  Lincoln helps me to refocus and remember that my family is what's most important.  Our hurt and frusterations can all be wiped clean and we can start again with the hope and triumph of a 10 month old precious babys wonder at the whole world around him. 

Long Days, Short Years

I've had a rough day, but never in my life have I so easily given up on what frusterates and saddens me than at this point in time. 

My husband is healthy.

My son is healthy.
                 (I am also healthy)
I am in love with my husband.
                 (He likes me alot :)
I obsessivly adore my son.
                  (He loves me, he tells me so with very sloppy kisses!)
My life is good.

Though I may had days where I make bodaciously bad decisions and mistakes, or have frusterating conversations with everyone I talk to and am mis-understood; when we are pockets and wallets and thin...

Nothing is better that you're going home, where you're life has lead you to all along.  i love my life and my family!

These days with work, daycare, and David's school make for Long Days, but these times are going fast and will add up to some very Short Years.  I am trying my best to live and breathe in every moment and take nothing for granted.  Its hard sometimes, but ironically its these days when I'm off my game that remind me to focus in on what and who matter. 

bReaKdoWn Thursdays

I always had a theory when I used to babysit about Thursdays.  Kids are tired, its been a busy week; parents lack all patience to simply get thier kids through the night.

Welcome to my breakdown Thursdays.

This sucks.

Work was fine.  Had to stay just a few minutes late for a meeting.  Caught in horrible traffic due to rain.  Virginians suck at driving (that is a whole new post that I'll have to write soon).  Just some drizzle and we can only go 5-15 MPH. It's so freakin' frusterating!

I only see David for about 5 minutes between when I walk in the door and he walks out.

Lincoln was so freakin' grumpy tonight!  I had to say 'no' alot.  He is insistent on getting into trouble, trying to eat David's work boots , playing with a lamp that he has almost pulled down on his little head before, yikes!, and generally get into everything.

He went to bed 10 minutes earlier than usual.  That was an hour ago.  He is awake and I am listening to him cry in his crib.  I am not a fan of this situation we find ourselves in.  I dispise spending the barely 2 hours I had with him tonight frusterated, constantly saying 'no' and moving him away from things.  I know I am doing what is best for him. 

He's not crying now.  I love him more that I care about anything else.  I care about every aspect of his day. I breath for the moment I walk in the door at home and he begins to laugh.  I was born to tell him he's loved and give him kissed and be kissed back.  Sometimes rather than kissing my mouth he will kiss bite, my nose. I love that!  I love his hugs, his smile, his giggle, his frustated cry, his tears that I can kiss and wipe away.

I miss my husband.  I miss Lincoln when he is at daycare.  We work all day long, I miss them both all day long!

Thursdays are bearable because Fridays will follow.  I love my husband.  i love my son.  I love who they have helped me become.  I am me, a wife and mother because of them!

I Believe

I believe in God.

I believe that God knows everything about everything and that we as His people have free will. I know that bad things happen to good people and good things to bad people. I don't think I believe in luck.

I believe in love and family.

I think nothing smells better than my baby, even when its been a couple days since his last bath.

I believe nothing sounds better than my baby laughing, babbling, talking.

I believe nothing feels better than a hug from my husband after a long day.

I think happiness is a word that people throw around to make excuses for selfish and bad decisions. I think there is a slippery slope between making yourself 'happy' and remembering that other people's 'happiness' is affected by how you pursue your's.

I believe Coca Cola tastes way better than water and is my #1 beverage choice!

I believe baking cookies, cakes, muffins and brownies is the best way to warm my home, with smells and the warmth of our oven.

I believe having a perfect pair of jeans can make or break my self-image.

I know I would be lost without my husband, son, mom and girlfriends. They are all the best!