Saturday, February 19, 2011


I am:

I think:

I know:

I have:

I wish:

I hate:

I miss:

I fear:

I hear:

I smell:

I crave:

I search:

I wonder:

I regret:

I love:

I ache:

I am not:

I try:

I believe:

I dance:

I sing:

I cry:

I fight:

I lose:

I never:

I always:

I confuse:

I listen:

I can usually be found:

I need:

I am happy:

I imagine:

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Content Context is King.

Have you ever gotten into a fight with a family member or friend?  How did it start?  Was it something you did?  Was it something you said?  How did you handle it?  Has someone stopped talking to you and as far as you know everything should be fine?

In recent years I have been accused, chagred, tried, convicted, found guilty and sentenced  judged twice for saying things, only for one little bit of what was said and not the context of what was said or the actions and events that lead to me saying the wrong thing.

These events have caused some very hurtful things to be said of and about me.  These things I said, without the benefit of context make me seem like a pretty awful person.  When I realized what was being thought by people I cared about (and thought they cared about me) I was very hurt.  How can someone who knows me assume that I would think, say and do anything to hurt anyone else.  I know that the other person(s) were hurt by what I said, and for that I have apologized to them.  However, I don't understand why we no longer give someone the benefit of the doubt, trusting who we know them to be and try to find out what really happened rather than tossing friends out.  These events involved people who were supposed to have known me, trusted me, loved me.  And just like that....

I don't know about anyone one else, but I am not perfect.  Not even close.  I can only do my very best, everyday, with what comes my way.  I make mistakes, certainly say the wrong thing and put my foot in my mouth more often than I'll ever care to admit.  I have made a deal with myself that if, in the future, I feel like something big, such as the situations vaguely referenced above come along again I will fill my friends in of the situation surrounding the wrong thing and apologize.  I will not get caught up in explaining myself over and over again or changing the entire situation.  There are things to be learned from every uncomfortable moment.  It's not just me that needs to take a step back and learn. 

I wonder if the other parties in these situations still continue to blame me or if, some how, they've discovered not that they were wrong, but there are certainly other perspectives to explore and better ways to deal with things than blaming someone else for the entire circumstance.